Moving-Home

Should You Be Happy to See Your Kids Move Back In?

We looked a few days ago at the idea of adults moving back in with their parents due to financial issues.

However, what about looking at the same issue from the angle of the parents now? What should you do if you are a parent and one or more of your kids tells you that they need to move back home because of money problems?

The Money Issues

Of course, there is no guarantee that you are in a much better financial situation than your children. This means that when a child moves back in with you then it could be a problem for you as well. It might be that the extra expenses they cause you to incur could tip your home finances into the red. Adding extra meals and electricity use to your monthly budget might not seem like a big deal at first but the figures could add up to a bit of a headache over time. This is a fantastic opportunity for your loved one to get their finances back on track but it shouldn’t mean that your finances suffer at the same time. If you are now retired or trying hard to save for your retirement years then having extra expenses to cover could make life more difficult for you.

Whether to Take Money Off Them

If your kid previously lived at home for years without paying anything then it might seem the most natural thing in the world to carry on in the same vein. However, if your circumstances have changed then you might need to consider taking some money off them to cover the expenses we looked at earlier. That might sound a little bit heartless but money issues could end up putting a huge amount of strain on your relationship if you run into problems because of their return. Don’t forget that they should still be a lot better off financially by staying with you and paying a small amount than living elsewhere and paying a lot more. If you can find a good balance that lets them save money without causing you financial problems then you should both be happy with that. It might also help your child to feel better about themselves if they are paying you some money to stay there. If asking them to pay their way means being able to help them out then it is worth telling them that this is something they need to do.

The Relationship Stuff

As many people already know, it can be extremely difficult to live with another adult, even when they are part of your family. Taking a child back into the family home means starting up a new type of relationship with them. They are sure to have different interests from when they were a child or teenager and it might not be as easy to get along together as you probably think. This doesn’t mean that it is impossible, though. Instead, it is simply the case that you both need to work harder at the relationship than before. If you get it right then it can be a beautiful experience in which you get to help them improve their finances as well as share their company for a while. Of course, in the long term you should expect that they will probably move out again once their money situation improves. As long as you are prepared for this moment and enjoy their presence while you can then it should be a great time for you both.

What would you think if your kid said that they wanted to come home because of money worries?

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7 Responses to Should You Be Happy to See Your Kids Move Back In?

  1. Lance @ HWI says:

    I wouldn’t let them back unless they had a plan to move back out. If it was temporary between houses then I’m totally fine. I’m not going to throw them on the street and say tough, but at some point you have to learn how to manage and get things in order. My sister moved back in with my parents between house moves. My neighbors allowed their son and family to move back in and they’ve been there for 6 years. That is a problem.

  2. Kathy says:

    My son would never ask to move back in, nor would I let him. If he was locating to our town for a job change and needed a place to stay until an apartment was available, for a week or two, that is not moving back in. Otherwise, he is an adult with a great degree which we financed in total (other than scholarships) so if the issue ever came up, I’d totally consider us failures as a parent.

    • Robert Bell says:

      That’s an interesting point of view Kathy, although I’m sure that many of the people who have recently back with their parents never expected to ever do this.

  3. jim says:

    I absolutely would let my kid move back home to get his or her feet back on the ground and financially set ’cause my spouse was one of those kids whose parents kicked him to the curb (financially speaking) the minute he graduated from high school. I would NEVER do that to any of my kids. I know my kids and the thought of them having to move back home would kill them (after college) so they’d get out of here the very nano-second it made fiscal sense for them to do so. And no – that’s not even close to being 6 years. 6 years – that’s a serious problem.

  4. For me, it’s not a problem if my daughter would ask me if she can move back into our house. If she needs my help as long as I’m alive and I can see that she’s responsible enough, I would definitely help her because my parents treat us with that also.

  5. It would all depend on the reasoning. If there were valid reasons/fears, then I would be OK with it. But even if they did move in, there would be ground rules to follow as it wouldn’t be a free ride on Mom and Dads dime.

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